This has been a topic of lengthy discussion in my household of late. In a contest of Wolverine vs. Megaman, who would win? I know who I think would win, especially if he got to pick the battleground...
On a similar theme, who would win if the contest were Scooby Doo (sans Scooby Snacks) vs. Cringer (not Battlecat)?
Mai (King of Fighters) vs. Scorpion (Mortal Kombat)?
Rogue (X-Men) vs. Xena (Warrior Princess)?
Bruce Campbell vs. John Wayne?
Eddie Izzard vs. John Cleese?
Battle Angel Alita vs. The Borg Collective?
Saruman vs. Darth Vader?
Bea Arthur vs. Carlos Mencia?
Edith Bunker vs. George W. Bush?
Sarah Palin vs. the OED?
Timmeh
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 7:22pmMegaman would get all down down-forward forward punch on Wolverine's ass.
Narrative
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 7:24pmI agree. Wolverine would be all "oh noes!" to the moving platforms that Megaman traverses with ease. I also think the Oxford English Dictionary would crush Sarah Palin, gee golly.
Mike
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 7:37pmI'd like to see a GWB vs Edith Bunker match. All she would have to do is sing and GWB would be out for the count.
Fap
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 8:28pmI still think batman would kick superman's ass. i've been called a heretic and worse for saying so, but he's just too smart with too many resources. all he would need to do would be make a bat suit out of kryptonite with some super strong servos in the arms and legs, then just wale on superman till he was dead. either that or he would make some sort of elaborate kryptonite-based trap, trap superman, then talk him into doing what he wanted (or just keep him there till batman was done doing what he wanted).
Vasya
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 9:01pmHaha. I have hard time with Eddie vs. John, but I think John Cleese would prevail. John is the OG of their particular department.
Fazil
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 9:09pmMegaman would pwn Wolverine.
Cringer and Scooby would mutually slink away.
Mai over Scorpion
Rogue over Xena
Bruce Campbell could totally pwn John Wayne.
Izzard over Cleese, but close.
Alita over the Borg, there's something to say for heavily-armed individuality.
Saruman over Vader because he's not a whiny bitch.
Bea Arthur over Mencia
Edith Bunker over George W. Bush
and the OED could destroy Palin with a thousand pages tied behind its back.
Narrative
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 9:16pmI think if you poked Cringer and Scooby with cattle prods, Cringer would win. If not, they would flee the sight of one another.
I disagree with you on the Rogue/Xena fight. I totally think Xena could kick Rogue's ass. Ranged attack. And ululation. And I'm not talking the watered down waif Rogue of the Marvel universe reset either, no, I'm talking "I absorbed Miss Marvel's powers, you fuckers!" Rogue. But then, Xena's taken on gods and won.
Here's another one: the legend of Grace O'Malley vs. Jack Sparrow?
Narrative
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 9:19pmAnd Fap, for the record, I totally agree with you. Superman only wins ever because he goes up against incompetent villians. Faced with Batman, he'd fold.
Timmeh
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 9:20pmI don't think even Xena has defenses against people latching on to her face and destroying her soul.
Fazil
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 9:20pmhave to disagree on the Rogue/Xena. I know she's your hero, but Rogue is nigh-invulnerable, able to fly, and has the ability to anticipate an opponent's move ("seventh sense") as well as the whole energy-sucking bit. If this was during the time she had Ms. Marvel's powers. I don't think all the ullas in the world could save Xena.
Vasya
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 10:02pmNigh-invulnerable, eh...
so who would win - The Tick or Rogue? :)
Narrative
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 10:51pmStraight-up tie. That battle would last decades. The Tick would last simply through sheer... Tickness. I don't even think he'd realize it was a fight. Rogue would get angrier and angrier. The world would quake. The City would shake. And neither could best the other.
15
Wed, 10/15/2008 - 10:55pmRet pally.
Crazy Rambles
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 12:02amI think Megaman's blasts would only annoy Wolverine, then megaman would have to return to his maker in a box called "spare parts"
Adamantium > megamantium
as for platforms...wolverine is pretty good at those (sega genesis X-man game game him all the exp he would need to fight in such an environment...and all those arcade X-men games too)
As for Saruman vs Darth Vader.... they'd spare for a bit then conquer both the worlds of fantasy and of sci-fi
Sumul
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 12:28amBatman would beat Superman if Batman were the villain in a Superman story. That is, as Fap said, if he had put thought, time, and energy into preparing to defeat Superman.
Similarly, if Superman were the villain in a Batman story, I'm pretty sure Superman would win.
I think if they both randomly met and had a "fair fight" (where the villain didn't get to choose the time, place, and circumstances of the battle), Superman would probably win.
Vasya
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 5:16amOoooh, I remember one that would light up the GameFAQs forums for pages:
Medieval Knight versus Samurai!
Crazy Rambles
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 9:08amdoes the knight have a steed?
and which weapons?
Timmeh
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 9:57amEven assuming hadouken-less Megaman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCrWqbWS-W0
Fap
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 10:23amsamurai would win, especially if he had an anti-cavalry sword (those really long two-handers? can't remember the name). knights were a bunch of bored aristocrats looking for money and bitches, while samurai were their sword. they spent their whole lives just perfecting the art of battle. if it looked like the knight was winning, the samurai would just kill himself, ensuring he was never defeated, and making the knight lose even though the samurai was dead.
Killface
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 10:43amActually, samurai spent most of their battlefield time as mounted archers, and truth be told, would probably not have fared well against a heavy mounted knight. Arrows wouldn't pierce plate, and the samurai had no equivalent to jousting equipment (i.e. lances).
The katana is a poor blade for blocking, and it would not likely penetrate the knight's thick plate armor without deflecting, sticking, or shattering. So even assuming he could unhorse the knight, the swordsmanship game would be a draw at best, with the knight injured by shrapnel but not killed, or the samurai forced into seppuku/retreat.
Timmeh
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 12:04pmThis is the best thread ever.
Beth
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 12:52pmBack in our college days, here are two classics our friends used to argue over:
Gamera vs. Voltron
Cthulhu vs. Elminster
And Rogue would totally win, she doesn't even need her powers, she would win based on her southern belle charms!
I also think John Wayne would win over Bruce Wayne because he totally has classy cowboy skillz.
And even though I hate the woman, I think Sarah Palin would have a fighting chance against the OED, as she would stun the OED with her "gosh darn cute" use (butchery) of the English language.
Killface
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 1:29pmYou betcha!
Vasya
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 7:40pmXD@ the Knight vs. Samurai responses. You have no idea how many flame wars that question has spawned.
Crazy Rambles
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 8:09pmI think this would be purely based on the circumstances....what armor the knight has, what battlefield they are on, and such
Crazy Rambles
Thu, 10/16/2008 - 8:11pmThe samurai would probably win though, considering their swift attacks and disciplined fighting techniques...whereas a knight would use more hack and slash methods and if he is wearing plate then his movement will be greatly limited
Narrative
Fri, 10/17/2008 - 12:05amI dunno... printed full size, the entirety of the current edition of the OED weighs an awful lot. I think it would only need to fall from a second story window to win that fight.
I think the differing cultural backgrounds of the combatants would put them both at a severe disadvantage facing the other. I think it would depend on who go their weapon out first. And therein lies the heart of the matter: that is the core of Eastern dueling practice. Therefore, the winner of the fight would be neither, but rather the philosphy of a sword style.
Oh! Maxwell Smart vs. Penny from Inspector Gadget?
Crazy Rambles
Fri, 10/17/2008 - 8:33amah!
Chuck Norris or Brock Sampson?
(I think I'd vie for Brock...mainly b/c he used someone as a club while gripping their hand in his anus)
"where are the keys?"
Anthracks
Tue, 10/21/2008 - 5:31amDoes Penny get the computer book, computer watch, and Brain (the dog) to help? If so Max is screwed, otherwise she's a sitting duck.
Narrative
Tue, 10/21/2008 - 6:47amI'd say she gets the computer book and watch, but not Brain. It's make a more interesting fight. :D